Loss
07-13-2003, 9:42 p.m.

Well I dropped the girls off this afternoon, and I have to say that I've been at a loss the whole day. I miss them so much, and it just seems so strange without them. I've not felt like doing anything since I took them home, and so I've sat and played Zoo Tycoon all day long! I can't believe that it is already time for bed, I feel like I've wasted a whole day, but I've just been so not feeling like doing anything. I will be fine tomorrow, but I am always at a loss that first day.

Speaking of loss, Stephen lost his game today.. well not Stephen personally, but their team. It was such a great game though, and they were totally close the whole time. They really played well, but in the end, they just didn't get there, and I felt so bad for all of them. They've never taken a loss so bad before, but this was their first time ever making the playoffs. I reminded them of that, and told them that they should be proud, and also, they need to remember that they didn't even start getting good until mid-season, my guess is that next season is going to be so much better for them.

Chrissy, June, Kimberly, Karolyn and Amy all came to the game with me, as well as James, and Pops... so they had a big cheering section today. All the girls went to go to the bathroom, and they were taking a long time, so I went to see what they were doing, especially since they had James with them. Well, they were making up cheers and practicing.. It was so cute. The whole second half of the game, they were up and doing their cheers so loud, it was just the cutest thing. I watched some of the tape of it tonight, and it was funny because at a couple of points, the refs were watching the kids all do their cheers instead of the game, lol.. okay! Stephen and Kevin thought it was adorable though, as well as the rest of the team, although I suspect that they would have liked it even more if they had won.

I have gotten so offtrack with my better me stuff.... I mean sooooooooooooooo off track. I think that this is going to be a very hard week for me, but I am really going to start trying again tomorrow. I have to, I am feeling so horrible about myself, and so icky on top of it all. I think on that note, I will go drink a big glass of water.. why put off until tomorrow, that sorta thing. Then it is time to go cuddle with my honey.

The only good thing about the girls going home (well, looking for one anyway) is that we can spend more time together, and I was excited about having sex more again, hehe.. but then of course that meant that I got my period today! No winning around here lately, lol.