Day One
01-21-2002,

Day One...

January 21, 2002

Today is Day One! Of what? Well, of me trying to feel better about me. Pretty good concept, don't you think? I was looking at the pictures we girls all took during Girls weekend, and I found myself saying, God my face looks so fat in more pictures than not.... Get a clue, right?

Soooooo, today, I began. I am not making goals that I know that I will not meet, that is something that I do so often, and then when I can't meet them, I get frustrated, and somehow I stop trying.. so instead... I am taking it day by day.. baby steps. A few things that I am going to be trying though is to eat breakfast everyday (something I so hate to do), but I know that it's better for me... so even if it is just something really small, I am going to eat. That sounds so funny... I want to lose weight so I have to eat an extra meal.. okay! I am also going to try to go to the gym at work, Monday thru Friday, even if it is only for 10 minutes on the bike. Anything is better than nothing. I am also really trying to drink a lot more water. I am doing all this very slow and small, as to not get overwhelmed, but to make it a change in my life.

Stephen asked me today, does this mean that you are going to change the way you cook, in a whiney voice. LOL. No, he is safe... I am not going to watch what I eat, but rather how I eat it. I think that is the smartest thing for me to do, and really the only way I will stick with it. I am going to be careful not to snack late (knowing I can't makes me want to, ugh), and to eat smaller portions... to do all the things I know I should be doing.

So have I set goals? Nope, just to get thru the day. I do have a sorta goal though, I guess. Tonya is coming for a visit in April, and we are planning to go for pictures again. My goal is to feel better about myself, and to know that I have been working towards making myself feel better. I don't care if I am never skinny.. I just want to not be ashamed of what I look like... and I don't want to look at pictures and say, God, look how fat my face looks, not when I normally take such good pictures (lol, okay, so that sounds goofy, but as much as I love having pictures, I don't want to stop being in them because I can't stand to look at myself).

I am determined.. and maybe by writing about it here in my journal, I will feel a responsibility to keep it up. Like, I won't want to let myself down here where everyone can read about it. I hope that makes sense. I am so glad that my friends are here to help me too.. We are going to do this all together...Jen has already been working out for a bit now, and you can see the difference (way to go Jen), and Cory has been too. Now Tonya doesn't want to be left out, so she is going to as well.. maybe we can all support each other... and maybe come April when we take those pictures, we won't need as wide a lens, giggle.

Daily Tidbits

1. I did go to the gym today for my first day, and I rode the bike for 25 minutes. It was hard, not the riding, but the fact that there were so many students there, I am going earlier tomorrow.
2. I didn't drink as much water as I wanted to today, so I think I will go down some right now and feel better about that.
3. I did eat breakfast, but not until 10:30 and only a piece of toast. I will do better tomorrow (I hope).
4. I got another scrapbook page done tonight. I was secretly thrilled when I read in Jen's journal how proud she is of me, and how talented she thinks I am (blush).
5. I like this new daily tidbit section... Should be really interesting to see what I write here. I like it because it doesn't have to be complete thoughts, just stuff
6. While I was riding, I read an article about 7 ways to improve your sex life. Some were interesting. Oh Stephen...