Pass the Chips
01-29-2001,

Pass the chips...

January 29, 2001

Well, another super bowl over and done, and another party a success. Despite the fact that I was sooooo sick yesterday, we had some people over to watch the game. Luckily, I had cleaned my house really good on Saturday morning, because I just was not up to doing too much. There was lots of picking up to do, as you can imagine, with the sleep-over party, but Chrissy and June really helped alot with that stuff. Especially Chrissy! Everytime I tried to clean something, she would jump in and say, you look pale Aunt Vicki, let me do this. I so appreciated it all too. So I got the chili going in the crockpot, and pretty much just tried to keep from dying. When Stephen got home from his basktetball game, he took over, and pumped me full of Nyquil and sent me to bed. I was still sleeping when his Cousin Terri got there with her 2 boys... and then when Sherry and Chuck got there, Sherry woke me up. I made it thru the game, and we even had a great time. Stephen's brother Kevin and his fiance Nicole came as well, and it was a good game with great company. My chili even turned out great, even though I hardly paid any attention to it, and I couldn't eat much of anything, but it all went, so it must have been okay, right? We did play a game (thanks Kristen)...everyone had to answer 15 questions before the game (things like, what will the first commercial be about, and who will be the first person to scream at the tv, and football related questions like who will the first team to score), and put in 5.00. Who-ever had the most questions right at the end of the game won. I won! Yipppeee... and I even filled out my questions doped out on nyquil. Go figure!

After everyone left last night, I watched the rest of Survivor II. I think I would have enjoyed it more if I hadn't been fighting to keep my eyes open. I don't like that they put it up against Friends though, because now I will have to chose. I think I am going to watch Friends with Stephen, and just tape Survivor II. What a pain in the butt though.

Today has been an okay day so far. I still don't feel great, although I do feel much better than I did yesterday. I developed a fever blister on the side of my tongue though, and when I try to talk or do anything really, my tounge rubs against my teeth and boy does it hurt. I can't even begin to want to try to eat. I have to try to eat something, especially since I had started on the Metformin last week, and it's not a good idea to take that on an empty stomach, and I am supposed to take 3 pills/day, one with breakfast, lunch and dinner. I already took the first one without eating, so I know that Stephen is going to force me to eat lunch... ouch.

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So, I did alright on Saturday. Everyone was of course very excited for Delores and John. Their oldest son Jonathon (he will be 6 at the end of March) is so excited and ran in telling everyone before Delores could. It was so cute, and Stephen's mom was especially so excited about it. I had already worked thru all my sadness on the subject, so I was able to sincerely smile when I said Congratulations. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be, and that gives me hope... maybe I am on my way to being my old self again. I never used to be sad or jealous of people when they got pregnant, and I sure didn't like myself during the short time that I was.

I am not sure that she will appreciate me talking about it here, but I am a little worried for Cory. She got some disturbing news on Friday about her state of fertility, and I am not so sure that she is handling it very well. The sad part is that I look at her, and I see myself years ago, and so I can relate. I hope that she really knows how much I understand, and even more.. how much I care. I think that all of this would have been so much easier, had I had a friend who could answer some of the questions I had, or who understood the sheer desperation of it all. I am grateful that I can be there for her during this time though, and I just pray that I can be of some real help. Infertility can be such an overwhelming thing, especially at first, when it is all thrown at you. I hope and pray that her journey is much shorter than mine has been. I pray that she gets pregnant shortly... she deserves it, she will be such a great mommy. So many of us will... so why does it have to be such a struggle getting there.

Of course, there are some happy endings to some of our stories. My friend Michelle is having her baby as I write this. She called me this morning to let me know that she was in the hospital and on her way to delivering Diego. Michelle and I met on an egroup about 2 years ago, and have since started our own group called Advanced Hope. We have been thru alot together, her losses, my losses, her pregnancy...and we have become pretty close thru it all. I can't even tell you how happy and excited I am for her right now. Her miracle came true, and it gives me such great hope...