"Maybe" Incentives
01-29-2003, 7:44 p.m.

Tonight we were supposed to go out to celebrate my SIL Nicole's 30th birthday. They invited us to this club that they are going to with all of her friends. We were the only ones invited from the family, and that was nice, but honestly, I just didn't want to go. Mostly, because it's a week night, and the thought of watching Kevin drinking on a week night, was more than I really wanted to handle. Plus, last time we went to a bar with them, both Kevin and Nicole got drunk and started fighting (they always fight when Kevin drinks.. so why they wanted to go to a bar is beyond me... I am not even kidding.. I love my BIL but I hate when he drinks), and Stephen always feels like he has to play the good cop or even worse, he ends up drinking with Kevin, and 2 sears boys drinking together is even less fun than one, and well, I just didn't want to go. Still, we were going to. Then they left a message saying that they were not sure what was going on, because her friends had some conflicts or something. I was happy, I figured we could go over and see them Friday night, and that was a much better plan. Then they called again (while we were taking stuff out to the garage) and left another message saying that they were going to go, but not until about 9:30. Um Hello? I do not want to just be going out at 9:30 on a work night. Maybe I am getting old, but that just does not even sound appealing. Stephen felt the same way, so we are not going. I feel guilty though, and I sit here thinking that we should just go and make an apperance, but there is just no way that I want to go that late.

I try to make myself feel better by telling myself that we invited them to my last 3 birthdays, including my 30th, and they didn't come to a single one, but I am a better person than that I guess, because it isn't working. Man, why can't I just be a cold hearted person? LOL. I am half asleep now, and it's not even 8. I can't imagine going out in an hour from now. I am sure they will understand.

Chuck had his surgery today, and it went well. He is actually already back home. They only had to cut out a piece of his bone, and it won't even affect his balance or anything, so that was good news. I hope that he heals quickly, I know how anxious he has been to be up and about. He sounded really good when I talked to him, and I was so glad to hear that things went so well. Yay, Chuckie.

Since we were going to go out tonight, I took my stuff with me to work today, to workout during lunch. Man, it's nice going during work, and they have a few new machines, including a couple new ellipticals which are really nice, and as I worked out, I wondered how come I stopped going there, but then, the students all started piling in, being obnoxious and I quickly remembered. I talked to one of the students I used to talk to when I worked out there all the time and she said it's gotten so much worse.. that is always crowded and that it's such a pick up joint. No thanks, I will stick to my women only club, thank you very much. Still it is nice to be able to do it at work when I need to. I also went and swam for 25 minutes this afternoon before we headed out and that felt really good. I can't wait to start swimming with Cory this weekend. It's funny how 25 minutes by myself dragggggggg by, but I can swim for hours with Cory and it just flies by.

I am really going to step things up in February. My goal for February is to have a majority of good days.. and to get into the 170s... even if it's only 179.. I can do it, I can do it... I just need to stay motivated. I might even have a new incentive. My mom and I were talking today, and we decided that we might to go Vegas in May. I guess my uncle and aunt are going to see my cousin who lives there, and she and my dad wanted to go... she talked me into going too, and why not, it would totally be a great incentive to lose more weight before then. Tonya is going to see if she can get a flight there at the same time which would totally be awesome (I so hope she can, I so hope she can).. and now Stephen is thinking of trying to go too.. it's his busy time at work though, so he doesn't know if he can work it out, but we'll see, it is right at memorial day and the students have a few days off then, so just maybe... Okay, I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, because he never can take time off at that time of year, but I can't help it.. we both love vegas so much.