Boys Are Dumb
02-02-2003, 9:11 p.m.

Cory says that all the time, and it's become a saying that we use often. "Boys are dumb", it is so fitting on so many levels. Especially tonight. Stephen totally pissed me off tonight. God, I just want to strangle him. He is in a bad mood because of some stuff going on with his basketball team, and he is totally taking it out on me, whether he means to or not, it really sucks. He didn't even want to play this time around, and was going to take the season off, but noone else wanted to run it, so he felt like he had to, which is so stupid, he doesn't owe them anything. Try making him see that though. The guys he play with are all babies, and fight with each other, and act so immature, and he feels like he has to play daddy or something and keep them all in line. When did it stop being fun for him? And why can't he just quit? I tell you, it's almost like he dreads it more than he enjoys it and it's just drives me nuts. The thing is, he does love playing, and it does make him want to go, but if only things could be like they used to, when he wasn't in charge of the team, that is what he needs to give up.

Man, I feel so sick to my stomach tonight. I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is wrong. I guess it's probably because I argued with Stephen, and while everything is okay, I just feel icky about it. At least I hope that is all that is wrong. I hate feeling like this though. Another reason we fought is over something my sister did. Something I just don't want to talk about. I know she is wrong, and she screwed me over, yet again. I am used to it, be he gets so mad, and in his anger he rants and raves about her, and no matter how mad I am at her, I feel the need to defend her, she is my sister, and then I am not only mad at her, but at him, and even more so at myself. I don't know when I will ever learn to just not do things for her. I know that all of this is what is making me feel so bad, sigh.. let it go, let it go.

I snacked a little today, but healthy snacks, and really not all that much at all. Plus, my meal choices were good, so I feel like I had a very successful first 2 days. I had a great workout today and really did good with my weights, the first time in a while that I felt that I did good with those, and my arms are really feeling it. Most of the snacking I did do today was due to being upset, and when I realized what I was doing, I stopped. I think it's okay to have snacks though, if you are eating better snacks and if you do it properly. I am really working on portion sizes, that is my biggest problem. So far so good. Let's keep it going. I am doing well with my miles too.. I did 50 miles for January, so I am right on track. I will make that 500 mile goal this year, I know I will.

Okay, bedtime for me. I have been going to bed earlier lately, which makes it so much easier to get up early in the mornings. I am going to workout tomorrow morning, I am determined to start the week off right. Neither Stephen or I have exams tomorrow, so we can get in at a normal time. It's going to be so strange at work without my boss though. He starts his medical leave (he had a knee replacement surgery yesterday, hope he is okay) and he will be out for at least a month if not more. Gonna take some getting used to, not having him there. By the time I get used to it, he will be back, hehe. Still, while I will still be really busy, maybe even more so, I will have more freedom as to when I do things. And occasionally be able to take a little longer lunch too, hehe. Having lunch with Jen and Tricia on Tuesday.. that didn't take long, did it?