Nightmares Again
02-11-2003, 8:40 p.m.

I woke up around 2:30 this morning, from a terrible nightmare. I can still remember it so vividly. I was so scared I was shaking and near tears. I tried to go back to sleep, but I was just too upset. So I got up and went into the other room to watch TV so that I wouldn't wake Stephen up too. They were replaying the Detroit Red Wings game from earlier in the evening, so I laid down to watch that. I think that I finally went back to bed and back to sleep around 4:30 this morning. I still didn't sleep so well, and needless to say, I didn't get up to workout this morning. I finally got some sleep out of pure exhaustion, but I was still pretty shaken up when I got up for work.

I have always had bad dreams, ever since I was a little girl. A few, I remember, most I do not. However, the ones that I do remember, usually tend to be very vivid, and they disturb me for days before I finally am able to let go of the feelings from them. I don't understand why this is, and I don't know what, if anything, I could possibly do to prevent it from happening in the future. All I know is that it's been a crummy day because I've been so shaken up. To top it off, I've had a bit of a sore throat too, ick.

I did go workout this evening, and I really had a great workout. I like when that goes well. My eating habits have been up and down so I really need to keep up with the workouts. I am working on it all though, and it's slow going, but I feel like I am coming along well. My goal is to make it to 179 before March 1, and I really know that I can do that, I just need to stay motivated. By the way, congrats to Jen who has lost another 2 pounds. I am really so proud of her, she has been really staying on track and it's showing. She is looking great, and I hope that she can see that. Sometimes we have such a hard time seeing it in ourselves.

On our Better4Life list, this month, we have a mini goal, where we had to spend some time each week, doing something to pamper ourselves. I really needed it tonight, so when I got home from the gym, I took a nice long bubble bath and relaxed with a book. It felt so good and so relaxing, and I really feel a lot better. I even shaved my legs (which I am sure Stephen appreciates, hehe) and then used some yummy smelling lotion. I pulled out one of my summery lotions, because I just wanted something different, and just feel so relaxed and pampered. I was going to work on my scrapbook a little tonight, but I think that all I want to do is go lay in bed and watch TiVo until I fall asleep. Yah, that sounds like a much better plan. Hopefully I will sleep much better tonight.

I have a faculty senate meeting tomorrow, so I spent some time getting ready for that. It's amazing to me just how easy that all is to me now. I look back at how stressed and upset I used to get over it and it just makes me laugh. Okay, I can be a big high strung sometimes, but what can I say, lol... not much.