Digging Out
03-08-2001,

Digging Out...

March 8, 2001

Sometimes you feel like you are in a fog, watching everyone around you, and not really moving or going anywhere yourself. That's how I've felt that past few days. I am soooo trying to dig out of this mood though. See, I am not used to being the one who is down, not used to being comforted or told that everything's going to be okay... that's my position... being the one saying that it's going to be okay... I think I want my old position back, LOL. This role reversal thing has thrown me for a loop.

I feel like I have tears at the back of my eyes ready to just come out at any small thing. Okay, here is a funny one. Jen typed a sad face :( and I told her not to do that, so she sends me this picture with her webcam of her with a sad face.. Hello, it made me cry. She had to send me like 5 happy pictures to make me feel better. I think that a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am not sleeping very well. I may stop tonight and pick up some tylenol PM, and knock my butt out tonight... after survivor of course! LOL.

I know that a lot of this mood has to do with Ven's death. But I also know that there is more to it than that. See, Sunday night, when we were at Timmy and Jimmy's birthday party, the subject of our family summer vacation came up. We always seem to start talking about it in March... and all of a sudden it hit me. Last March, I was pregnant, and we were joking about how I would be prengant for last summer's vacation and then this summer we would have a 7 month old baby. It hit me that we should have a 3-4 month old child right now. And it hurt! Boy it hurt! I thought that once I got passed our due date in November, that I would just be better, guess I didn't expect this one. Snap out of it, that's what I keep telling myself...eventually... eventually...I do have some wonderful friends who are helping me thru this...I am lucky, they help so much!

On the good news front... see, I can still find good in here somewhere, LOL... Chrissy and June are coming for the weekend. We are going to just lay around and have movie day all day Saturday... yay!! Sunday is Stephen's last basketball game, so we are going to go watch him. He is happy that we are coming too, I just realized that I only went to 2 of his games this year... awwwww, bad wife, LOL...

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So Sherry calls me a while ago. She works for Pier One right now, and today they were robbed!!!! A guy snuck into their storage room, and was stealing money from their purses... and one of the other workers there walked in and caught him....he ran from the room, right in Sherry's path.. and what does she do?? SHE TACKLED HIM!!!! Oh my god, that girl... what am I going to do with her. The police asked her if she wanted a job when they saw the video of it. Unfortunately the guy got away from her, and took off, but she did get his cell phone, if it is his that is. She drives me nuts sometimes, she really takes things into her own hands sometimes. That girl does not know how to stand back and let others take care of things. She is stubborn too. I am just glad she is okay... for now... and I say for now because when I see her tomorrow, I am going to just smack her upside her head!!! Let's see how good she is then...