Grandma's First
03-13-2001,

Grandma's First...

March 13, 2001

I am the first grandchild on both sides of my family. Growing up, I wasn't very close to my dad's parents, but that was mostly because they lived in Florida and we only got to see them once a year or so. Besides, they just weren't that big on kids, and mostly when we saw them, we just got on their nerves. We were, however, very close with my mom's parents. Being the first grandchild, I was often spoiled rotten. My Gram never hesitated to whisper to me often how special I was to her. There was no doubt that I was among her favorites, if not the favorite. Maybe having favorites is wrong, but heck, I think we all do it, don't we?

I got to spend a lot of time with my granparents when I was growing up. They lived on a farm in Indiana, and I spent most summers with them, running around the farm, having fun, doing special things. I have so many wonderful memories of my childhood and many of them include my grandparents. I've been blessed.

As the years have gone by, I have remained very close with my grandparents, and very special to them. I spend as much time as possible with them, and I try to never take them for granted. For the past few months, my gram has been staying with my parents to help them take care of my other grandfather (my dad's dad whom they brought here from Florida last year, so that he wouldn't have to live in a home). My grampa (mom's dad) travels back and forth, spending some of his time here with my gram and my parents, and spending some of his time in their home in Indiana (they have long since sold the farm and now have a cozy home right on a river). I do try to spend lots of time with my gram as well, with her being closer right now. I've enjoyed it.

Last night, as I was getting ready to down some nyquil and lay in bed, the doorbell rang. I was thrilled to see that it was my mom and gram. I knew that they would be in the area as my gram had a doctor appointment that day and her doctor is near my house, but I didn't know they were going to stop by. The thrill didn't last long though as my mom blurted out "Gram had a small heart attack".. WHAT??? Confusion raced thru my head, and I looked at my gram with tears in her eyes, and in mine as well, and she just shook her head. Stunned I sat down, when? how? I didn't understand. Well they explained to me that she had been feeling some pain in her arm and chest over the weekend, which is why they made the doctor appointment, and Dr. Savage had done some tests, which came back showing that she had suffered a mild heart attack over the weekend. They just stopped at my house to tell me and to use the phone to make a few calls before they went to the hospital for Gram to be admitted for some tests. I couldn't stop hugging her and holding her the whole time they were there, and I wanted to go to the hospital with them, but they didn't want me to, because of my cold/bronchitis.

So she is in the hospital now, and they are doing tests. So far, I guess things look okay... she might just need to start taking it a little more easy. I hope that is all it is... because and this might sound selfish, but I am not ready to be without her in my life. I love her so much, and I need her even more. There is still so much I have to learn from her, and so many things to tell her....

I plan on spending this weekend at my mom's house with them. I had already planned on doing so, but now it just seems that much better an idea. Gram said that if she is feeling up to it, she wants to teach me how to make some of her special recipes that none of us have ever learned how to cook. While I am so proud and honored to be the one who will know how to make them, I don't like the idea that she won't always be here to make them for us.... So many memories... so many wonderful times... I want so much more....