War
03-20-2003, 8:49 p.m.

As I am writing this, they are breaking in on the news with reports of our first casulties... 16 lives lost. In my opinion, that is 16 too many. I am not sure I even understand this war, and that makes me so very sad. I can only pray that it will be quick, and that the number of lives lost will be minimal. My heart breaks thinking of the families of those that are already lost. I can't even imagine what they must be going thru, wondering if it is their loved ones that are now dead, and having to wait to know for sure. My prayers are with our military, and the military members of our allies, with the families of each of these members, and with every innocent person who is thrust in the middle of this. May God watch over all of us.

My heart started pounding last night, the minute the news broke into the TV program I was watching. Okay, it was pounding before that, as the deadline that Bush gave Saddam approached, and then every minute that passed until we knew for sure that the war has begun. Now all we can do is sit and watch and wait and wonder. I can't seem to turn the news off, I have this need to know all that I can know, and yet in knowing, it doesn't make it any easier or better.

My daddy is a Chicago police officer, I am sure I've mentioned that in the past. He works in downtown Chicago, and I was so worried about him today, as the city was racked with anti-war protests. Please explain to me how someone can protest violence with violence, it makes so little sense to me. Seeing the numbers of people protesting around the world is so hard, especially seeing the violence that goes along with it. What is happening to the world around us?

Maybe I am naive or whatever, but I just want to close my eyes and go back to the days when this didn't overwhelm us. Everywhere you turn, it's all you hear, it's all people are talking about.. it's on the news, in the streets, so much a part of our life right now. I hope that it is resolved quickly.

I went for a long walk tonight, because they were having this thing at my gym, including bringing guests for free night, and I knew that it would be so crowded. It was so eerie out, as nice as it's been lately, there have been people everywhere.. at the parks, walking their pets, etc... but tonight I barely saw anyone.. everything was dark, and you could see the TVs going in every living room with various news channels on. I guess that it isn't just me who is glued to the news looking for answers. Answers that may never come.

I found information on donating money to send care packages to some of our soldiers thru Operation USO Care Package, and my goal is to donate money for at least one package. You used to be able to send packages yourself, but because of heightened security, it is no long possible. You can also send items and letters to Military Moms and they get them to soldiers. I am glad to be doing something, anything really. I hope that it helps, even just a little bit. I guess that it's the least that I can do, and maybe it will bring something to someone that I will never know. I just want to do something to support our military, they do so much, for so little.