And Out of Nowhere...
03-28-2002,

And Out of Nowhere...

March 28, 2002

I got into something of a sort with Cory today... although I still don't quite know what it was. It kinda hit me out of the blue. I was going along talking and laughing and feeling good about what we were talking about, when all of a sudden, she let me know she wasn't too happy with most of the things I said. I am still sitting here with my mouth wide open, asking, what just happened? I have gone back over everything I said/did, and I still just don't get it. Obviously, it was something though, since I doubt she would be mad over nothing at all. God, the headache I've had all day is suddenly a roaring migraine.

Sooooo, I left one of my lists today. That was a lot harder than I ever thought it would be. I wasn't sure what to do, and honestly, I was tired of being stressed over it. I guess if I was to be honest, I would have to say that my decision had a lot to do with Cory leaving. Could I have learned to be happy there without her being there? Probably.. but part of me thought that it would hurt her for me to stay after she left. I know that if I had gone, I would have been hurt if none of my friends followed. Maybe that is silly, I don't know.. but it's the choice I made, and the choice I will live with. I will miss the list, it meant a lot to me at times.. it brought alot of joy and friendship, and yah, at times a lot of hurt. Still it is where I met Cory, and that was a wonderful thing (although I am not sure she would agree at this moment, lol).

How is this for irony... I was writing an email to Jamie earlier today, and we were talking about the picture people, so I sent her the link to my journal entry from the red,white,blue picture we took in October.. and I was reading some of the entries from then.. and I thought to myself.. wow, we haven't had any conflicts around here lately.. lol... what am I, dense? I totally jinxed myself right there, giggle.

Who believes in that? Jinxes? I kinda do. Last night at the Wolves game, it was the middle of the 2nd period and Stephen said, wow the wolves have not had a penalty yet, have they? They had like 4 power plays, but they had not taken a penalty themselves... we were like wow... but man, as soon as we said it.. boom, they got 3 in a row. I am telling ya, we put the jinx on.

Speaking of the Wolves game.. it was just too awesome! Our seats were fantabulous... and the Wolves played a great game. I had so much fun with Stephen, and he had a great time as well. I just love going to the games, and I do enjoy going alone with my honey sometimes. We were talking about that last night.. and how we both love taking Chrissy and June to them as well. We were both saying.. man, June would love these seats. Funny how we think about them so much when we are doing things alone that we often do with them.

Speaking of them. June called me this morning. To tell me she loves me.. and then Chuck told me that they would rather I pick the girls up on Monday night instead of Sunday night... okay, that is fine.. less work for me...I was just trying to be helpful, since they needed a babysitter.. at first I was like.. sheesh, don't sound like I am going to be upset, or you are doing me a favor.. but that is goofy... what we have with the girls is awesome, and I am grateful that they let us have them so much.. no matter how it works out in the end... Gotta watch out for those trucks!

Daily Tidbits

1. I so didn't feel like doing the elliptical machine today. My head was pounding, and it just didn't seem appealing. Instead I just walked on the treadmill for 50 minutes, and did some weight lifting. I still had a great workout and I think I made a good choice. Sometimes we just need a break from certain things.
2. Tonight is dinner with the parents.. and then must-see-tv.. gosh, I hope this headache goes away so I can enjoy it more than I would at this moment.
3. I have tried to make light of the situation of the day... but I really am upset about it. More hurt than angry...I am not mad at all.. just hurt.. hurt that she assumed I meant something I didn't mean.. hurt that she just cut the conversation off and left.. hurt that this is even happening... we are both hurting, and instead of figuring it out, it's easier to just push each other away I guess. I mean, I have no fear that this is going to cause lasting damage, we are much too strong for that... but sometimes these little things are just so trying. Comes with spending so much time together, I suppose.
4. My head really really really hurts.. I wish I could just go home. Maybe Stephen will let me miss dinner.. not that I want to, but right at this moment, I feel like I am going to throw up.. what kind of dinner company will I be? Sigh... those damn trucks anyway.