Appreciating the Moment
04-10-2002,

Appreciating the Moment...
A Random Acts of Journaling Collaboration

April 10, 2002

Wow, what a great quote. How true it is as well. This is actually something that I've always thought about in a round about way, and something that I still think about often.

I used to be very fond of something that I heard somewhere. I don't know where or who said it, or why.. but it was something like this. We could spend our whole lives just waiting for that one special moment to happen, only to realize that while we were waiting, that one special moment came and went, and we missed it.

How do you know if a moment is special, if you don't take the time to appreciate each and every moment, and to recognize these moments for what they are. Who is to say what qualifies as a special moment.. when you don't know what tomorrow will hold. That is why I believe that every moment is special, and every moment is going to be whatever we decide to make of it.

I believe that we need to make the most of every moment that we have, but that always is not an easy thing to do. I try to tell my Stephen that I love him every morning, even on the days that I might be aggrevated with him. Sometimes though I cannot see past my own issues to do this. I don't want to be the one who lives with regrets should something happen and he go before me. I so cannot imagine my life without him.. but I can't imagine my life without him knowing how I felt either.

Regrets.. that is something that I think we all have from time to time, but never so much as we do having not appreciated something while we had it. Isn't that what they say.. you never know what you got until it is gone. It takes a very special person to be able to recognize what they have. We spend our lives dreaming of tomorrow... and sometimes we forget to live in today. So we regret what we lost yesterday, and it is a vicious circle that never ends.

What can we do to recognize our moments for what they are? I don't think that there is any set answer to that question. For me, I need to try harder to take the time to appreciate what time I do have.. to let people know how I feel.. to live in today and let tomorrow take care of itself. To look at the world around me and see more than myself. It's so easy to get caught up in whatever crisis is current, and to forget to appreciate the little things surrounding me. A hug from my girls, a simple I love you. The things that should matter so much, and do matter, but often go unrecognized.

Today a friend and I had a good conversation. We talked about some plans that we are making for an upcoming trip. We talked about the sacrifices that we each make for these moments, and about how appreciative we are of each other's sacrifices. We talked about how much it hurts sometimes with you feel that noone recognizes the hard work you put into making something work. About how we need to be appreciated for the things we do.

We also talked about the visit that just past.. and about the fun that we had, and also about the moments that were not so fun, the ones that it's hard to admit out loud. I have been a little bit bummed about the not so fun moments all week, because this was the first visit we had that wasn't just perfect. It wasn't bad, it was still wonderful, but there were a few moments where one or the other of us was irritated, and it showed. So do these not so perfect moments mean that the whole visit was bad? Does it mean that we shouldn't appreciate the time that we had, or maybe that we should just forget about the whole thing? Isn't that what I was basically doing by being sad about the tension we experienced. I need to let go of that, and appreciate the good, to let the good be what stays and not the bad. Appreciate the moments.

I wish for the vision to see the golden moments in my life. The ability to appreciate them as they happen. I wish that for all of you as well.