Daisy Chains

So Very Deeply Sad
04-16-2002,

So Very Deeply Sad...

April 16, 2002

Stephen and I went out tonight, to a Sox game, and while we were having a wonderful time, we never suspected what would be waiting for us when we got home. I was so very tired, and ready to go straight to bed the minute we walked in the door, but for some reason, I decided to check messages on our voice mail first. We had about 12 messages waiting for us, in the few short hours we were gone... all of them marked urgent..from friends... from family, and mostly from Stephen's mom. I was frantic to call her back... so sure that something was wrong... but it wasn't what I would have thought. Stephen called her, and she told him to sit down... and then told him that Joey (his very best friend growing up) had OD'd. He had done so about 6 months ago as well, and was getting help.. classes, treatments. Stephen figured it was the same thing, and asked where he was at... not ready to hear the answer. Joey died today.

OMG, my husband.. my poor husband who rarely shows any emotion at anything, dropped the phone and walked out of the house.. I started to follow him, but he said he was alright and asked for some time alone. I called his mom back and assured her that he would be okay, and talked to her for a few.. and then I went to Stephen.

He and Joey haven't been as close since we got married.. marriage does that sort of thing to boyhood friends, especially since we married so young, and the rest of his friends are mostly still single, but they still talked as often as possible, and we still kept up on each other's lives. Stephen was devastated when this all came about 6 months ago, but we were all so happy that he was getting help. He was just over by Stephen's mom's house last week, putting up some lights for her.. and he told her how good he was doing. We all believed it.

We saw him last on election day.. we went to vote, and he was there putting up signs.. we stopped and talked to him for a bit, and he told us as well, how good he was doing. He was gearing up to become a precinct captain in an area near here, and he seemed so very content.. and when we left him there, it was with promises to get together soon. Not soon enough...

Stephen is in pain, and I hurt so badly for him, and for Joe's family. My brother who was also close with Joey is hurting too.. this is going to hurt so many people.. Joey's family who is still so close to Stephen's family.. his brother is best friends with Stephen's brother...his sister too.. these are families that grew up together.. Everyone is going to feel this for such a long time.. along with the questions of why. Why could this happen to someone so young with so much ahead of him.. why would he start doing heroin again...why oh why...

The next few days are going to be so rough for everyone.. and then the next few weeks.. months.. years... All I can do is be there for Stephen... and help him thru it... god, it hurts and makes me so deeply sad...He was a good person.. the drugs were his downfall.. as they are for so many young people. How do we make them see, how do we save them.. how do we save ourselves...