Going With the Dress!!
04-17-2003, 10:11 p.m.

First, I really want to say thank you, everyone, for all your comments, and for them being so positive. With each wonderful comment I received, I felt my confidence growing, and I really started to believe that I could actually wear this dress. I loved Kim's idea of getting a nice shawl, and I did remember seeing one last night that would be perfect, so I went to look tonight, and I found one that looks like it was made for the dress. It is a black sheer material, and it has beading all along the edges. You can't see it in the picture of the dress, but along with the pink beaded flowers, there are leaves in black beads.. and the beads on the shawl are exactly the same beads that are in the leaves. It is a perfect match, and I just love it so much. I have NEVER ever bought a shawl before, let alone wore one, so this is a totally new experience for me. I tried the dress on again tonight, and I do so love it... and the shawl really adds to it, and will give me extra confidence if I am feeling a little unsure. So, unless I change my mind at the last minute, the plan is that I am going to wear this dress.

I could really stand to lose a few more pounds before I wear it though, and that alone is keeping me totally motivated and focussed. I have been doing soooooo good all week, and I am already feeling so much better about myself. Everytime I want to put food in my mouth, or avoid working out, I keep thinking.. dress.. dress.. and all of a sudden it seems a lot easier. I am also going to start doing sit ups every night again. I have 2 weeks from tomorrow before the wedding, and while I can't do too much in 2 weeks, I can do enough to make a huge difference... so keep up with me... As of today, I weigh 183 pounds.. and I am determined to be at least 179 (again, but this time FOR GOOD) before the wedding. I can do it too! I will give updates, maybe knowing that I am writing it here will also be a good form of motivation.

So tonight was our dinner with the folks night. When we got there, Nicole was there with Kathleen, and Kevin was coming after dinner, so that was a nice surprise. Kathleen is really learning so much now, and everytime I see her, I am sooooo amazed. She says so many words now (she is only 9 months old too!).. Her favorite word now is Uh-Oh.. she also says, yah, ma-ma, da-da, TT (Uncle Stephen, which totally thrills him beyond belief, because she even knows it means him, hehe).. but the ones that totally amaze me is that she can say Karolyn so clearly it's amazing.. I mean you can totally tell what she is saying (Karolyn is her older sister).. she says deedee for Kimberly, and she calls little Kevin, bwodder... (brother).. it's adorable. She is starting to stand up on her own now, although she gets confused once she is up, stands for a minute and then falls, but at 9 months, that is really amazing.. what a smart little thing she is. I had so much fun playing with her.

Kevin invited me to go to an egg hunt with him and the kids on Saturday morning, at the park by Stephen's mom and dad's, which I am really excited about (Nicole is working that day)... and then Stephen's mom said that we should all do something together later that evening, because this is not Kevin's year with the kids on Easter (he gets them tonight, but they have to be home by 10 in the morning on Sunday), and so they are spending Easter day with Nicoles family, and Delores and John will be in Wisconsin for easter this year.. so it's just us, Geralds family and their parents... so I am not sure what we are doing Saturday, but whatever it is, it will be fun, I am sure. It's turning out to be a nice weekend. We even have half the day off tomorrow for Good Friday.. but I have so much work to get done, that I might end up bringing a lot home, and trying to find some time to catch up here... we'll see, I may be too busy staring at my beautiful dress...