Not Giving Up
04-29-2003, 9:07 p.m.

I am so glad that I am not a person who gives up easily, because there are so many times that it would be just so easy to give up. Maybe I am just too stubborn though, but I never give up unless I have to. Not with friends, family, crafts, anything I set my mind to.

I had been looking for a new bra to go with my dress for the wedding this weekend. As you know, my dress has those spaghetti straps, and well, as you probably know, I am a bit too well endowed to be able to wear strapless bras, so my next best bet would be the bras with the invisible straps (what a great invention). Unfortunately, they are really hard to find in larger sizes. Last year, I was fortunate to come across one in my size, and I loved it, but it's gotten to be much too big (by a few sizes actually), so I knew that it would never work. So I went back to where I found it origninally, and nothing. I've looked at so many stores and have been unable to find one. Instead, I bought a black bra. I figured that at the very least, it would blend in with the dress and hopefully look like part of the straps, and Stephen said that it didn't look bad, but I still just was not happy with it. Tonight I decided to go back to Fashion Bug and search again. I tell you, they have no order to their bra section, and they are all on this wall jumbled up together. I looked for the style I had last year, and they had none in my size. I found some other styles, and I tried on about 20 different bras, but nothing was working. I even tried strapless bras, and put the clear straps on them, and nothing.. it just wasn't working. I was about to give up, and just go with the black bra, when I decided to just look one more time. I don't know why, I had looked thru every single bra in the store practically, but I decided to look anyway, and I put my hands in the back, feeling all the straps, hoping to feel a plastic one that I missed, and I did find a few, but none in my size... and then, it was there, right in front of my face, the first bra in the row.. I KNOW that wasn't there before, I looked and looked, I couldn't have missed the first one in a row... but there was one.... I prayed and prayed that it would be my size, not really believing that it would be, and then I looked. I about squeeled right there in the store when I saw that it was indeed my size. I scooped that thing up so quickly! I am so glad that I didn't give up, and now I am ready for Friday, at least in terms of clothes.

I have another cold sore.. actually about 3 or 4 of them, eek, both on my bottom lip and top lip.. I have been getting them everytime I get my period lately, and sure enough, there it came. I had talked to my Doctor about it at my appointment the other day, and he said that it's because I am losing weight, and that eventually they would stop.. but he gave me a prescription in the meantime. The co-pay on it was ridiculous, and it's not working all that great so far... I am so frustrated and stressed, and of course being stressed always makes them that much worse. Stephen keeps telling me to stop stressing, easy for him to say.. doesn't he know that I don't easily give up, apparently at stress as well. Hopefully this stuff IS working, and this thing will be almost gone by Friday, but at this point it is not looking promising. So much for looking great! I would feel better if it was past the itchy growing stage, but it feels like it's growing by the second. Stop! Stop! Please Stop! LOL... man, just my luck.