Things That Matter
05-08-2002, 9:27 p.m.

Things That Matter...

May 08, 2002

I hate being misunderstood.. who doesn't. But I especially hate it when someone misunderstands me in a way that makes me feel like.. "how could you even think I would ever, could ever feel that way"..those misunderstandings leave me feeling unsure of myself on so many levels. Not that you can blame the person who misunderstood... anymore than you can blame yourself.. these things happen.. I just wish that they didn't suck so badly when they did. I have been feeling misunderstood a lot lately.. this thing with my mother has really gotten to me... a lot of other things have gotten to me. All these little things that add up.. it's no one thing, it's just a bunch. Seperately it wouldn't matter much, it would just be another moment.. but together.. it matters a lot.

So when I got home from work tonight, I was not in much of a mood. I don't think I said 2 words to Stephen all the way home. Yes, he pissed me off today too, and he is one of those things that had gotten to me today. Of course, he really didn't do anything wrong.. but that didn't matter.. he was still on my shit list. When we got home, he ran out to the store and to run a few errands and I was glad for the time alone. I finished the book I was reading, so that I could take a trip to the library tonight, and then I made dinner. We talked during dinner, and just kinda let the rest of the crap fade, and I am glad... I feel better about it.

As we were eating, Nicole called. I didn't answer the phone, I wasn't ready to talk to anyone.. but I had told her that she could come over tonight to scan some pictures, and as I thought about it, I remembered how excited I was last night at the thought of her coming. Family matters to me a lot, and I have been wishing that I would take the opportunities to be closer to my SILs.. so why now start now. I called her back and she came over. We had a nice visit and it lifted my mood a lot. I scanned the pics she wanted, and she left their wedding album for me to scan some pics for myself. I have been wanting copies of their pics, so that was a good thing. Since they got married in Vegas and they only ordered a small album for themselves, we never got a chance to order pics from their wedding, so it is really nice to have these pics now. It was nice to visit with her as well. I am glad I called her back.

I guess it's about time to head to bed, and let this day be a distant memory. Tomorrow will be better. Someone very important to me said today "how you feel matters to me".. that was nice to hear.. sometimes it's good to matter.

Daily Tidbits

1. I had a good workout today. It was a hard one though, but I've been feeling pretty good about them. It is hard doing it when you are miserable with your period, but I am glad that I haven't been not doing them. I am proud of that.
2. The wolves won last night in an awesome game.. and now the next series starts on Friday. There are home games next Wednesday, Friday and the following Sunday. I think that we are going to take Chrissy and June to the game on Friday. They have been asking when they get to go again, so that will be nice.
3. Good night to everyone who matters to me. I hope I tell you enough that you do matter...