Trying to Come Back
05-10-2004, 8:59 p.m.

I am starting to be one of those journal keepers that update a couple of times a month, and the sad part is that I really haven�t cared much either. I guess that everyone goes through times like those, and so I am really going to make the effort to write for a couple of days, so that I can see if I can get back into the swing of things. I really just haven�t felt like writing, and even more, there has been nothing good to write about for a while.

Last time I updated was the start of some pretty icky things in life. Things are starting to look up now, but it was pretty sad for a while there. The big thing that I mentioned at first, I am still not going to write about, and I doubt I ever will� but it just continued to get bad from there. Last week, my ex-SIL (Stephen�s brother�s ex-wife) lost her fianc�. He was attacked a couple of months ago, beaten and left for dead, but he survived. Unfortunately, when he was attacked they had poured anti f reeze down him and as such he had been very sick. Well, my SIL took the kids to Michigan for the weekend to see her gram, and when they got home, they found him dead (they being the kids). It was very traumatic for them, and very horrible for all of them. My heart hurt so badly for all of them. Although I had only met him once, we went to the wake and stuff to support the kids, and it was just heartbreaking. He was our age, which always makes it harder to see� that whole mortality thing.

As if all of this wasn�t enough to get a person down, my parents dropped a bombshell on us. They are moving, to Florida! OMG, I wanted to cry so hard when they told me, but I put on a fake smile and pretended to be happy for them. They had joked about it for a long time now, but we never took them seriously of course. I guess we should have. I still don�t know how I am going to handle this, I just know it�s going to be pretty dang hard.

All of this too, had ruined my workouts/eating well stuff. I have been going, well some of the time, and pretending to workout� but I have been eating horribly and I am just miserable about it all too. Why is it so easy to get back into bad habits when we are sad and down? I am going to get my butt up tomorrow and go to the gym, and really workout well, and I really am going to try harder with the eating thing� at least work at drinking my water. I have to start turning this all around. Maybe coming back here will help, who knows.