Back on Track
07-28-2004, 9:28 p.m.

I had the day off of work today. A nice, no reason, take a day off day. They are the best. We are having a baby shower for my cousin Brian and his wife this weekend, and I needed to get the favors done for that. I had planned on doing them Friday and Saturday, but Stephen�s uncle passed away last weekend, and we will have his services this weekend as well. We are very sad about that, but he was older, and lived a full life. Somehow that always makes it just a little bit easier, although sometimes not. I am sure that the services will be very nice, although very sad too.

In other news, I�ve actually gotten my butt back into the gym this week, and believe me, I need it. I cannot believe how far backwards I�ve let myself go, but I guess that there is no sense in being down on myself. The important thing is that I am starting over again, and believe me, if feels just like starting over. I am not going to sit here and say how motivated I am, or how I am going to do it this time, because I feel like I�ve said it so much over the past few months. Instead, I am going back to taking it one day at a time, or baby steps as we always said. I just hope that I do stick with it, and that I start seeing results again. I tell you, having no clothes that fit really sucks. I went to go buy something to wear the other day and looking at myself in the mirror made me about start crying. I walked out of the store without buying anything, and that is the way it is going to remain. By buying bigger clothes, I am just giving myself the opportunity to continue gaining, and I just am not going to do that. Believe me, there is nothing better than way-too-tight pants to keep you from shoveling the food in! Of course you end up feeling miserable the whole day too, but hey if that is what it takes, so be it.