Bye Howard
07-31-2004, 10:08 p.m.

We buried Stephen�s uncle today. What an emotional few days it�s been. He was 78, and he lived a full life, and in truth, he was ready to go (he used to say that he was going to die when he was 75, and I really don�t think that he wanted to live much after that). He had been sick, and living in a nursing home, and when Stephen and I picked him up there on Easter to bring him over to Stephen�s brother�s house for the day, he told us that he was just waiting for it happen at this point. It sounded so sad to me then, and even now, but I guess when you get to a certain point in your life, you are just ready. I am not sure I ever will be, myself, but then again, who knows. Ask me in 44 years.

The services were beautiful. He served our country for several years, during WWII, in the Navy, and as such they had some neat aspects to the ceremony. I must say, however, that it is the first time I�ve ever actually seen the coffin lowered into the ground. Other funerals I have attended have not really been at the actual graveside, but rather in the chapel on the cemetery. It was very sad.. so final� placing the roses on the coffin and then watching it slowly being lowered into the ground, I cried the most at that moment, than any other time over the past few days.

There were some very memorable moments though� and most of them included the kids. I thought I would mention a few, so that I would remember them always.

* Kathleen thought that uncle Howard was just sleeping. She kept telling everyone to �shhhh� my Howard is sweeping� and then would turn to my MIL and ask �Can�t we get him up now�. She also, this morning as we walked by the coffin to say our final goodbye said �Bye Howard� bye Howard, I miss you�.. in the cutest little voice.. what is it about kids.. the things they say are just so touching.
* Stephen�s cousin has triplets (2 girls and a boy) who are 3 years old. They walked up to the coffin to see Howard, and were standing on the bench looking at them. All of a sudden, at the same exact moment, they all kneeled down. It was such a touching moment� the way they did it all at once. Very sweet.
*Stephen�s cousins little boy wanted to know if he could just shake uncle Howard�s legs, to see if he could wake him up. I guess that death is such a hard thing to grasp when you are that little.
*Stephen was a pallbearer, and at the cemetery, they asked the pallbearers to come forward with their roses first� well, they didn�t get any because they were obviously busy doing something else, so they tried to grab some from other people around them. Our niece Karolyn handed Stephen one because she had 2 in her hands� well the 2nd one she had was Kathleens, who then started saying �nooo, that was Kathleen�s flower�.. I guess she wanted to keep it. Well Stephen looks at it, and realizes� Kathleen had torn every petal off of it� it was cute� why she wanted the stem, I have not a clue. She is just too much that one..

The luncheon after the funeral was very nice. We sat with some of Stephen�s cousins, and it was nice to catch up with some of them. I think that those luncheons are so strange sometimes� I mean, you�ve just come from something that is so very emotional and sad, and yet you are sitting here laughing and having a good time. I guess what they say is true� life is for the living. We say our goodbyes and we continue living. I know that with some deaths it is much harder to go on living, and it takes much longer to get to the point where you could. Luckily, I�ve not experienced any of the deaths in my life, yet, that are going to be harder. I hope I do not for a long time to come.

Bye Howard... you will be missed.