Monthly Challenge
09-05-2002, 10:00 p.m.

Monthly Challenge...

September 05, 2002

As I've mentioned already, on our better4life list, we started a monthly challenge, and it was to give up a food that you love, but isn't very healthy for you, for one month. I knew going into it that it would be tough, for me, and for everyone else.. but I never realized how tough. A few people are really struggling with it, more than I thought they would be this early into the month, but I really think that it's a good challenge and I think that together we can make it thru the month. It is nice to know that we have support. Jen had a good idea on the list about there being consequences to messing up, and I think it's a great idea... afterall, if you have nothing to lose, it would be so much easier to just mess up. I really love how well that list works together to support each other.

Today was a not so good day.. I really am rather down, about some things that I really do not want to talk about here, or anywhere for that matter. Stephen kept asking me what was bothering me, but I kept saying I just woke up crabby. It's not about him, and though I know he cares and would want to listen.. I just don't want to talk about it.. I have tried so hard not to take it out on him either... I know that he doesn't deserve that. All I do know is that sometimes things in life are so hard, and sometimes I don't know which way to turn or how to work out the things that are bothering me. Sometimes I feel like noone really understands anyway, so why bother trying to work them out. Today really sucked though, and I went thru it ready to cry at any moment... with that horrible feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach when things just are not right. I know that it will work itself out, as it always does, but I can't help but feel very very sad in the meantime. Okay, enough said about something that I am not going to talk about anyway, lol. Maybe it's all in my head anyway, but lately a lot of things just don't seem right, and I don't feel very loved, or even liked at times. I guess we all go thru that. I would blame it on PMS but I finished my period a few days ago.. so much for that excuse.

I was going to meet Dee at the gym tonight at 6:45 and after Stephen and I ate dinner, it was only going on 6, so I told him that I was going to walk to the gym.. It's only about 2 miles away, and he didn't mind since Dee would be there to drive me home if I was too tired to walk.. I figured it would be a good change in scenery, and I could walk there and back and just do my circuit training and stuff while I was there. It really worked out very good. The weather is beautiful, and there was a nice breeze, it was more of a pleasure to walk than exercise, but I am still counting it, lol. I did the circuit trainging, and man, I so can feel it when I am done. I am loving that very much. I even went and sat in the sauna for 5 minutes after my workout there, and that felt really great. It's the first time I used it, but not the last. The one girl I talk to a lot there now, Carol, was coming in as I was leaving.. and we talked for a few minutes. I really love having people to talk to there, I think that I've said that before, lol.. okay, I know I have. Dee had her new member orientation tonight.. I left before she was done, I wonder how it went.

Daily Tidbits

1. I am going to drive by myself to work tomorrow so that I can leave a little early and go pick Stephen's parents up half way between here and Wisconsin. They are staying at Delores and Johns this week to babysit... sometimes I don't know why they don't drive them all the way home, but I don't mind doing it for Stephen's parents either so I am not complaining. I could wait for Stephen to get off of work, but he has lab and will have to stay until 5, so we wouldn't get there until 6;30 and not home until late.. so it just makes more sense to go myself. It will save us lots of time. I had planned to go spend the night at Jen's, but since I don't have the girls, I am just going to go over on Saturday instead. I am glad we decided that earlier in the week, because I didn't have to ask to change plans.. although I probably wouldn't have.. if I were going to Jens, Stephen said he would go get them himself.
2. I am not sure what we are doing Saturday at Jen's.. but whatever it is, I am sure that it will be nice. I haven't seen her in a while, so it's an overdue visit. I need to take the boys their birthday presents too, since they are sitting here, and I should have given them to them before. Better late than never, and I could have sent them home with Jen, but I don't know, I guess I really wanted to give them to them myself, and this is the first time I am seeing them since their birthday.
3. Sunday I am going to meet Tricia to workout and then we are going out to lunch. I am looking forward to that as well. It will be nice to see how her gym is set up, and we are going to a yummy place for lunch.. yum.
4. Gonna be a fun weekend.. lots to do, but not where I feel stressed or like I can't do it all.. no, that comes NEXT weekend, lol.
5. I changed part of this today.. so that I don't have to keep writing that I didn't work on my scrapbook.. besides it was redundant now that I am putting the last layout done too.. it looks funny on previous entries since it won't make much sense.. but oh well.