Just an Entry
09-10-2002, 8:45 p.m.

Just an Entry...

September 10, 2002

We got up this morning, and Stephen asked me if I could take the whole day off with him, instead of going into work at noon. At first I told him that I really wanted to go into work after my appointment, but I would like it if he took the day off cause we could at least spend the morning together, so he did. We had a great morning, got up and had some cereal together, and then got back in bed and had some fun together, if you know what I mean. I had to drag myself out of bed to take a shower to go to my appointment.

The appointment was great, and I really learned a lot at it. She took all my information and weighed me in. I was pleasantly surprised to weigh in at 182.5. She asked what I thought I would weigh, and I said 185.. and hehe, I was so excited to see it lower. She said that she had just balanced the scale so it was totally accurate. Then she handed me this glob of something, that was pretty huge and told me to hold it. It was ewww, gross.. then she said.. you've lost 8 of those.. man, it really makes you see it differently when you think of it in those terms. She went over some things, and showed me how many servings of each food type I should be eating daily. I thought it was a lot like WW but different. I am not sure if I will keep track and follow that, but I did learn a whole lot. I just feel like if I am doing good the way I am doing it now, why mess with that. Okay, it's just that it freaks me out. I am so glad that I went even if I don't follow the plan. I learned a lot of things, and I will add some of them into what I am doing, if not all of them. She did tell me how important it is to do weight training, and honestly after just 2 weeks of circuit training, I am seeing some differences already, and I look forward to seeing what happens doing so long term.

The appointment took longer than I thought it would, and when I got out, I thought about Stephen's face as I was leaving. You could totally tell that he wanted me to come home, so I decided, what the heck, and called to tell my boss. I had to get a kidney scan done anyway, so that gave me a chance to do that and then run home. Stephen was so excited when I got there, and I knew that I made the right choice. We even had sex again, giggle.. totally worth going home for I say. Then we just hung out together. Finally I got up and decided to clean the bathroom and scrub the tub and shower walls, and he came in there to help me so it went pretty quickly. Afterwards, since the tub was so clean, I took a bubble bath with my new sweet cinnamon pumpkin bubble bath, yum. It was wonderful.

I went to the grocery store to pick up some things that we needed and Stephen had asked for sausage sandwhiches and fries for dinner, and I wanted to get frozen fries to bake, instead of running out to get fries. I am glad that I did that, and they were just as good and a much better choice. I really am going to work at keeping frozen fries in the house for when I just have to have fries. We had a nice dinner together, and then I ran to the gym to take the Step class.

Ugghh!! I thought I was ready for the next level and maybe I am, but after 15 minutes I just couldn't keep up and I was getting frustrated, so I quit and went to work on the elliptical machine instead. I was very upset with myself and feeling pretty bad. The lady next to me started talking to me, and she said.. I saw you out there trying the class. I just said, yah. She said, hey, take a look out there... and I looked over at the class and said what... she said, noone can keep up, can you see how confused everyone is? Sure enough, people were having a hard time.. I just couldn't see that in my own frustration. She then told me.. I won't take the class when this instructor teaches it. Even the ladies in the Super Step Plus class can't follow this instructor, she is the worst instructor, and noone I know will go to her class. At first I thought maybe she was trying to make me feel better, but a minute later, one of her friends come over and start laughing with her... about the instructor, and why do they let her teach this class.. and then I remembered what one of the other instructors told me about one of the step instructors being really hard. I don't know.. maybe it was that.. but maybe it was me.. but I did feel better after talking to this lady, and I am going to try again with a different instructor. I am just glad that she said something to me because I really was pretty upset with myself.

Now I am home, and watching some of the 9/11 specials with Stephen. I have been crying again for days over all of this, and I know that tomorrow is going to be pretty hard for everyone. It's just so emotional still, and probably will be for a long time. I went back the other day to re-read my entries from last year, and it is so strange to think it was a year ago.. it seems like it was yesterday, but then it seems so long ago in other ways. All I know is that it's something that alot of us will never forget, something we will always feel. Tomorrow at work, they are having a few different prayer services and candlelight vigils. We are going to go to at least one of them, if not more. I know that I will spend a lot of time crying, as will everyone else. I will never forget, and my heart is always with the families that suffered the most in this.

Daily Tidbits

1. Some of these specials that they have going are so heart wrenching.. the stories of the victims and their families. I know that tomorrow it will be even worse, but I will be glued to the TV.
2. I am going to go watch some of this stuff with Stephen. I am sure that everyone has their own ways of mourning tomorrow, and of remembering. I would love to hear what you are doing for the first anniversary of a horrible day in our history, please leave a comment and let me know what sort of things you are doing for tomorrow.