Day of Reflection
09-11-2002, 12:14 p.m.

Day of Reflection...
A Dear X Collaboration

September 11, 2002

Dear Fellow United States Citizen,

I can still remember so clearly, every minute of this day one year ago. I had to be to work early that morning, and so I was at my desk when it came across the news, a plane had hit the World Trade Center. They thought it was a small plane, and noone even suspected that it was anything more than an accident. I was able to log onto one of the news sites on the internet, and I sat watching the smoke billowing from the tower, and I felt so sad for the people who had surely died in this accident. A few of the people in my department were also standing around my computer, as I was watching it to see what was happening. Then, all of a sudden right on my computer screen, I saw the second plane hit the second tower. I screamed right before it hit, I couldn�t believe what I was seeing. On the internet everything sort of happens in slow motion anyway, and it seemed so unreal. Was this some movie plot? But no, it was real and all of a sudden it became so clear that this was not an accident. I can still feel the ball of fear that I felt when I think about that day. What the hell was going on around us, and it didn�t end there. The internet sites filled up quickly and I was glad that I had logged on early enough to see what was happening, but noone else around here was able to get on, so they all crowded into my office to watch. We sat here stunned, crying as we watched as the towers collapse, and the news that the pentagon was hit. When we heard about the flight that went down in Pennsylvania, it was just too much to bear� what else was going to happen, where would it all end. It was like, well you know what it was like, I am sure you have your own memories of that day. This is one day in my life, that I don�t need a journal entry to remember what happened, or how I felt, it is something that I can close my eyes and remember at any time. I hope I never forget.

One year later, and it is still so fresh. It seems like it was yesterday in so many ways, and in others it seems so long ago. How has life changed? Well I would like to think that I have grown into someone more caring and compassionate. I would like to think that I�ve learned to appreciate each day of my life, to appreciate my family, my friends, and all of the little things in my life. I think I try to smile more and frown less. I get choked up when I hear the national anthem, and I look at our flag with a little more feeling. I notice more of the little things�. there is not a day that I don�t look up at the sky at a plane overhead, and just watch it for a moment. I remember the people on the doomed flights, all those who died, and even more so, those on flight #93 who rose to a most difficult challenge, and died knowing that they may have saved the lives of others. I look very differently at people in the military, and our firefighters and police men. They are our heros, and should be treated as such. I remember the unselfish regard for the safety of others that we witnessed on this day. I have more respect for us as a nation, a nation of people who have shown that they can come together when needed. I remember the citizens who rushed to the scene and did everything they could to help, even at the risk of their own lives. I remember the compassion and generosity of those who poured into blood banks and those who generously gave of their funds to help the survivors and the families of those who died. When I remember that day, I think of pain and horror but I also think of courage, unselfishness and compassion and I am grateful to know that out of this day of loss and mourning, many good things emerged; the unity, love and support we have all experienced, and the reaffirmation of our faith, faith in our nation, faith in our world and faith in humanity. If nothing else, I hope that I always remember these things, both the good and the bad, and I hope that I keep those feelings in my heart. I hope that a year from now I still get choked up when I hear the national anthem, and that it continues for the rest of my life. I hope that in remembering and being a better person for it, that those who lost their lives did not die in vain.

I stayed up late last night watching the news and all the stories. I cried, and not just a little. I felt like my heart was breaking at some of the personal stories and I realized that while life does go on, a part of us is changed forever. We lost some of our innocence that day. We now look at things differently, and we always will.

We had a memorial service today at work, and I was glad that they did. It was emotional and touching, and I cried yet again, but it made me feel good to be able to share that grief with others who felt it too. It felt good to see how many people came and how much we are not alone in this. They asked all of our students, who serve in the military to wear their uniforms today, and as they walk thru the halls, it is just nice to see. I am glad they did that, I have a lot of respect for each of these people, and maybe this is my chance to let them know that, even in little ways. I plan on going home tonight and watching some of the 9/11 specials they have on TV. I know that it will be emotional and hard and I know that I will spend the evening crying, and I know that it�s draining, but I want to watch, and share in this day. I couldn�t imagine it any other way. I am trying to think about other things today, but my thoughts never seem to go far from this stuff. But then again, a day of reflection and mourning is something we all need from time to time. Really, nothing else seems as important today than that. I think that I am going to spend some time today telling the people I love how much I do love them, and how much I appreciate them in my life. As we learned so roughly a year ago, nothing is for certain. Who knows what tomorrow holds.