Past Relationships
10-03-2002, 8:44 p.m.

Past Relationships...

October 03, 2002

Tonight was dinner with the in-laws night. We almost didn't go because my MIL isn't feeling so well, but she still wanted us to come, and she was already cooking, so we went. After we ate, we sat around talking, like we usually do, and the subject of old relationships came up. The funny thing is, I can't even remember how it did.. oh wait, we were talking about anniversaries, because their 39th was last weekend (oops, we forgot, I feel so bad) and it got us to talking about their 25th, and the people who were there, including Stephen's old girlfriend, and Delores' old fiance. My MIL had me cracking up with stories about their old relationships. Stephen asked me later if I was jealous, but the thing was.. I wasn't, not at all. Old relationships are part of our lives, and they are part of what makes us what we are.

Think about it, in most of your past relationships you've learned something, taken something with you. Besides that, it's in the past, and what matters is today. I actually even enjoyed the conversation, especially when my MIL said that I was one of his girlfriends that she actually liked right away.

I think about my past relationships from time to time.. but not in the way like, oh I wish that person was still in my life.. but if I am thinking about a certain time period in my life, I will sometimes think of the people who were in my life at that point. I wouldn't want Stephen to be jealous of that, because it really doesn't mean anything, and in the same way, I wouldn't want him to forget about his past. I think that it's important to remember where we've been in life.

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I am so not in a mood to write in here tonight. That is strange for me, because I usually have a million and a half things that I want to write about, but tonight, everything I write about comes out sounding wrong and I end up deleting it. I am always so worried about offending and/or hurting the people I care about, so there are often times that I want to write about something, but don't know how to appoach it, and then I get caught up on that, and don't know how to move onto another subject.

Almost time for ER anyway, and I want to give that my un-divided attention... so I will have a better entry for tomorrow. hopefully. I so need to learn that I don't have to fill this box up.. it's okay to have short entries!