Pretty Leaves
10-04-2001,

Pretty Leaves...

October 04, 2001

On the way to work today, Stephen was so cute. He was pointing out all the trees that were the prettiest, and he even knew which ones I would like the most. It meant so much to me, that little thing, knowing which trees would be my favorite. I love the ones that are gold, with red on the tips... they just look so vibrant... like the one in the picture on this page. I could sit and stare at the tree's all day long, and I really enjoyed our ride to work today, looking for trees even prettier than the last.

One thing that I said to him though, started a pretty deep conversation. I said that when I died, he would always think of me when the leaves were changing. He laughed at first, and said that he was going to die first... but then we talked about it.. about dying and leaving the other behind. It's such a scary thought... I don't think I want to ever be without him, but it's all part of life isn't it. I wonder what our lives are going to be like years down the road... I wonder if the thought of him dying will always cause my heart to hurt. The thought of anyone I love dying usually does.. it is not a subject I do well with.

Which is kind of ironic when you think about it... I started out this entry talking about beautiful leaves, which are only turning such wonderful colors because they are dying. Kinda came full circle on this one...