Amy's Birthday and The Funk
10-14-2003, 8:40 p.m.

Tonight we went to Gerald and Michelle�s for Amy�s birthday. (Happy Birthday Amy!!) I so cannot believe that she is 11 already� boy time really flies, doesn�t it. She is such a wonderful girl though, and I am so proud to be her godmother! I bought her birthday present when I was on my cruise, a silver and pearl necklace which is beautiful, and she loved it so very much. But what she really loved was the birthday card that I made her. Right away when I handed it to her to put with her gifts, she went on and on about the envelope (I had stamped happy birthday in squares all over it), and so I told her she could open it. She was so cute oohing and aahing over it, and running to show everyone the card that Aunt Vicki made her. She wants me to teach her how now because she said that she tried to make cards for her friends and none of them came out like this.. hehe, it really made me feel good. I have to admit, I still get a little freaky about giving home-made cards. I think that I need to learn that there is a difference between, cheap and hand-crafted, hehe. It takes a lot more effort to make a card than to buy one, and I just love getting hand-crafted stuff.

I�ve been a bit on the emotional side the past few days, and in a funk that I just really need to break out of. This whole car thing for one, has been so stressful, but there is a lot of other stuff going on too that I am not at liberty to discuss at the moment. However, it is really affecting me a lot, and I just need to find a way to work through it all. With the car, part of it was the uncertainty of what was going to happen, but that part is almost over. They called today, and the car is, indeed, totaled. So I guess we can expect a phone call sometime within the next 24 hours to discuss a settlement. I am not looking forward to that, but I will be glad to get it over and done too. Then it will be time to look for a new (used, we don�t want a second car payment) car for Stephen� that should be fun (not!).

Stephen and I have been, um, not really fighting, not really bickering� but more like not talking so well lately. Saturday I was in a horrible mood, and I got mad at him for something that wasn�t his fault.. no biggie right? Well it was a biggie after I yelled at him in front of his friends. That is one thing he HATES� he doesn�t mind me yelling at him, but don�t do it in front of other people.. then add into that the fact that he did nothing wrong, and well.. ugh. He�s been really pissy about it, and not really letting it go, although not throwing it in my face either, but in a mood because of it. Well, after I yelled at him, he told me.. I don�t want you to go to Tennessee for that game� being a jerk back to me, and while I knew he said it in anger and didn�t mean it, later that night, I asked Chuck right in front of him if I could take June out of school for a day to go to TN� oops� He has been livid about it ever since. He says that I totally disrespected him, that I should have talked to him first, and let him tell me that he was angry and didn�t mean it and well there is really a lot more to the story of course, and I do see his point. I would be so pissed at him if I asked him not to do something and 2 hours later he talked about doing it with other people. We talked it out finally today, which wasn�t a pretty conversation, but I think things are okay now. He was talking to his friends this evening when we stopped by his moms and I went to tell him that I needed to run to the store for Michelle, and they all started teasing me, asking if I was coming to drag him home by his ears and stuff� sigh� I guess I sorta made an ass out of myself, lol.

I also had a doctor appointment today. I have been getting really bad migraines lately, and so she wants to try me on a new med, and I have to go back yet again in 6 weeks. I hate having so many appointments, ugh, lol. I did get my flu shot today, and for some really it REALLY hurt this time. My whole arm is so sore. I think I am going to take some Tylenol and go to bed early. With this mood I�ve been in, sleep can only help. I hope I get out of this funk soon.. I am sure that everyone around me hopes the same.