Bad Day
10-17-2002, 8:28 p.m.

Bad Day...

October 17, 2002

Today was really a bad day, although I can't really say why.. not because I don't want to say, but because I just can't put it into words. I was more than a little cranky and just basically down. I was cranky with Stephen this morning, and he really made me mad. I have been trying to be so nice to him lately, we have these challenges this month on the Better4life list that have to do with marriage, and so I've been paying attention to the way that I've been treating him. When I am frustrated now, I try to take a deep breath and not take it out on him but sometimes that is not so easy.. especially when he is not doing the same. I guess though, that it's easiest to take your bad moods on the people closest to you. I knew I was in a crummy mood though, and so I tried very hard not to take it out on him, and I was pretty successful too. I think that the thing that is hardest about days like this is that it always seems to be one misunderstanding after another, with everyone! You get to the point where you just want to crawl under a rock because nothing is going right anyway. LOL, okay so maybe it wasn't that bad, but I sure felt crummy.

I was really busy at work, trying to get things ready, and I have tons to do tomorrow as well. I tell you, I don't know if you can really consider a vacation, a vacation, when you work so very hard the week before you leave and then again when you get back, lol. I am sure that I will get it all done tomorrow though, and then I don't have to be back to work until 9 days later, and I am going to love every one of those days. Originally, I thought that I would try to go into work next Friday (we get back Thursday night) but Stephen is taking it off, and he wants me to as well, and since I had already arranged to have it off, why go in for one day. Besides, it will be nice to have that day to relax after vacation. Monday will come soon enough anyway, lol.

I was torn about what I wanted to do tonight for my workout. I was going to go to the bootcamp class, but I really hate missing my Thursday night shows, but we go to Stephen's parents for dinner so it's not like I could go earlier.. so I was trying to figure out what to do. Then my MIL called and asked if we minded coming another night, since Michelle needed her to babysit. Mind? Of course not, lol.. not like we aren't going to be spending 5 days together soon anyway, hehe. Actually, it worked out nice because I was able to come home and then go workout and get home before any of the shows started. I am glad that I went to workout, because man, I've been eating nonstop today. I haven't been doing so great with it... feeling a little down I guess, about how hard this all is. Some days it really is a lot harder than others, and some days I wonder if it is all worth it. Okay, so I know that it is all worth it.. but I am allowed to wallow in self pity some days, right? I know that I will be back on track before too long, and this day of pigging out will just be another day...I am sure that I will have many of them, hehe, and really I know that is okay in the end. I can't wait for tomorrow, it has to be better than today was.

Daily Tidbits

1. Survivor was gooooood tonight. My boy is still in it too, although it looks like he gets into an argument next week.. Noooo, don't bring any bad attention to yourself Ken.. although it is with Rob who I can't stand.. so go for it, kick his ass. Man, have I mentioned how much I love Thursday shows? Now I am watching Will and Grace and writing this between commercials. I really didn't even want to come and write tonight, well I did want to, I just didn't have anything good to write and sometimes those are the hardest days to write. Still, I won't get to write much next week, so I am being good and keeping up.. go me.
2. 3 more days until we are Vegas bound.. man I can't wait.. this is going to be a wonderful vacation!!
3. Tell me that I don't need to go eat anymore.. that is the hardest thing for me, once I screw up I think, well I already ate all that, what's a little more. That is so wrong, but I just can't stop on these kind of days, lol... I am not even hungry, but I want more more more. Tomorrow, Tomorrow... can't wait for tomorrow, hehe.
4. It is sooooooo freaking cold in this house!! I finally turned the heat on, but it's going to take a while to heat up. I am freezing!! I so can't wait to get in bed and cuddle under the covers. I think that I will go do that while I watch ER... yah, that's what I need.. to cuddle. Meow and Shadow are both laying here waiting for me to cuddle with them.. how can I resist that? Night.