Will She? Or Won't She?
11-13-2003, 8:31 p.m.

Things have really been so very stressful lately. This whole Tonya situation has us all over the place. Obviously from past entries, it�s pretty clear that she has left Mike. For good? I don�t know... I don�t even think she knows. No matter how much he has hurt her in the past, she can�t seem to let go of the hope that things can get better. He apparently is trying to show her that he can change, and whether or not I believe that is not the case, but she does. I hope so for her case, but� there is just so much bad that it�s so hard to see the good, especially for someone like me who doesn�t have the love to fall back on. I don�t have memory of the good like she does.

So anyway, she has been staying with her mom in Tennessee, and things haven�t been the greatest there either. The girls of course are struggling with this, and not understanding that their mom is trying to do what is best for them. It�s just been an ugly situation all around and I�ve worried about her so much.

She decided to come here, to stay with Jen, at least until she makes some decisions about her future. Unfortunately Mike wasn�t so thrilled with that� okay, he made thinly veiled threats. The fact is� he hates Jen about as much as Jen hates him, and so he wasn�t going for it one bit. Finally he told her to do what she wants, but he isn�t happy� whatever. So Tonya decides that she just isn�t strong enough to go against him and his family, and that she is just going to stay in Tennessee. I understood, but I also know that she would be so much better off here, without his family on her case to go back to him all the time. I was so angry that she couldn�t take a stand and do something for herself� it�s a much longer story than I can tell here� but I will always support her decisions, no matter what.. that is what friends are for.

I talked to Tonya this morning, and she shocked me by telling me that she is taking a stand� and that she is doing what she feels is right, no matter what anyone else thinks. I really couldn�t believe it� yay Ton. So for now, at least, it looks like Tonya is coming back with me next weekend. The next few months should be interesting at any rate. The most important thing to me is that she is okay� her and her girls. I would do anything I could to help them. I so wish I could look down the road a couple of months to see how this is going to turn out, but I guess we will just have to play it day by day.