Rewind
11-30-2002, 12:36 a.m.

Rewind...
A Dear X Collaboration

November 30, 2002

Dear Krystal,

Sometimes I wish that I could rewind time to go back to the time when we were little kids, the time when you were so innocent and sweet. Now, I worry about you so much. You seem so lost, and confused, so unsure of anything, and I can't even remember the last time you seemed happy.

Sometimes I am not even sure why I bother. You are selfish and self-centered and you drive me insane. You care about nobody but yourself, at least that is the way it seems most of the time. But, you are my sister and no matter what, I love you with all my heart. I hate the way you treat me sometimes though. If only I could rewind time to go back to the days when you looked up to me, when you showed me respect and caring. I know you love me, but I guess it's hard for you to show much when you don't even seem to love yourself.

You have chosen such a hard life, and that is your choice, but even in doing so, there are so many things you can do differently. I wish I could help you see how good your life could be if you would just settle down and do the things that you should be doing.

I can't help you, I have tried. I don't think that anyone can. You have to do this on your own, you have to find your own way, and while it kills me to see you struggling through life, it has to be that way. I have done so much for you my whole life. I have always babied you, I have always tried to protect you, and maybe in that, I helped to make you as selfish as you have become. This past year, I have tried hard to stand my ground, and I am proud that I have been able to. It hurts me when you say that I don't love you, or when you accuse me of not caring, because I won't pick up the pieces of your life when you screw up... but little sister, the time has come for you to take responsibility of your own life.

No, I cannot rewind time, I can not teach you right and wrong, you already know those things, now it is time for you to live your life the way you must, I only hope that you can find the way to become the person I know you are, a person who will be happy. The past is the past, and the future is ahead of you.. I hope it brings you something good.. I hope so much for you.

Love, Vicki